When my Mom died in 2004, we knew that Dad could not live alone, but did not want to have the "conversation" about giving up their house.

My boyfriend, David, travels a lot for work, so I started asking Dad to come and stay with me at my house "for a few days" to keep me company and so I would not be afraid to be alone.

After a while, we just told him it would really help us out if he could stay with me permanently, since I felt so much better with him here. Worked like a charm!

Then we had to decide what to do during the day while I was at work. I told Dad that Katie (CNA health aide) is our housekeeper and she comes once a week. She works 5 days a week, but he does not remember yesterday, so when he says, "Is tomorrow Katie's day?" I simply say yes.

He has no idea he has Alzheimers or that he has a nurse and that is just fine with all of us!

Kathy
www.KnowItAlz.com

Kathy,
So... were you born a natural diplomat or is this something
you were trained for???
I am in AWE at the graceful, thoughtful, loving way you
have helped your Daddy.
Here, rub my arm... maybe some of your talent will rub off
on me!

Carol

Kathy you are a genius! Wish that would work for my mom. I just may give that a try. Anyone else have any brilliant ideas? My mom is very resistant to help. She sees herself healthy as a horse and not in any need of assistance.

Hey Betsy,
My only suggestion is that when/if you hire someone to
come in and help your Mom, make sure that person is
trained to deal with the type of behavior that AD
sufferers dish out. As mean as my Daddy gets with
his caregiver and with the people at his ALF sometimes,
they continue to treat him with respect and kindness,
and most importantly, they don't take his harsh words
personally. That takes training, and it takes distance
(i.e., I take everything WAY too personally!).
Good luck!
Carol

Hi Iam new to this boards. Simply i came to tell hi every one

Hello dhanarajesh1 and Welcome to the boards!
I hope you can find what you need here. We have
a pretty close knit group of people who are always
willing to lend and ear and contribute advice on all
sorts of issues related (and some not-so related
to caring for a loved one with dementia.
One tip for you--the "General Discussion" thread
is where most people post stuff and where most
people look for new postings every day or so.
Your post down here may get overlooked by
some who don't scroll down to see what's new
outside of the General Discussion (but I'll post
something up there today so people will know to
look for you).
We also have an "Introduction" thread towards the
top where, when you feel comfortable about it, you
can let us know a little bit about your story and your
particular issues.
The "Creative Outlet" thread at the very bottom isn't
used as much as it used to be, but some really terrific
stuff is in there.
Also, if you're looking to find input on very specific
issues, such as incontinence for example, you can
type words into the search feature and it will bring
up past postings that have those words in them.
That's the basics.
But most importantly, I'm happy you found us and I
look forward to seeing more of you and your posts.
Carol

Welcome dhanarajesh1... Carol did a great job of giving you a tour of the site. If you have any additional questions don't hesitate to ask us. We're a very open and warm family here, so feel right at home.

Best,

Aitan

Welcome dhanarajesh1,

You will find incredible help here, don't know what I would of done without these great people.

~Kelly~

dhanarajesh1,
Welcome to our forum family. Our other members have basically said it all. We laugh, cry, vent and whatever we need to do here. But we all do it together. Please come back and let us know how we can help. And many times the help you may need also helps us. So don't be afraid to vent, complain or just tell a story. We're here.

jackie

Welcome dhanarajesh1!

Join us over on the General Discussion board and tell us all about yourself.

Betsy,

I hired someone in my home to help me out with Mom, which is much easier than when they don't live with you, and that's what I'm assuming the situation is with your mom.

If she is living with you, I just told mom that my help was a friend of mine, and that she was going to start helping me clean house. Mom liked her so much, that on the days she doesn't come, mom asks for her.

If she's not living with you, thats a harder one. Before mom came to live with me two years ago, forcefully, I tried everything to get someone in the house to stay with her. She had the same attitude as yours.

I finally just had to pack up her things, and I brought her here. She kicked and screamed, but eventually it calms down. She would have never made it any longer by herself. It starts getting too dangerous with meds and cooking and such.

Betsy, post this on general discussion. I know someone will have some ideas on this. And give a few more details. We'll think of something for you.

Jackie