My name is Sherri and I am the primary caretaker for both my FIL and MIL.

I found this site from the "other" board as you call it. I was looking around and started reading the QM & FT thread
and followed it here.


My FIL (84) is currently in the later stages of AD (stage 6 to early 7), and my MIL (80) was dx with AD about 2 months ago
with early stages. She is stilly highly functioning, mostly short term memory and confusion with financial, etc.
We moved both of them in with us about a year ago. After reading many of your posts, I am feeling very fortunate
that we have not had many of the problems that many of you are facing (yet). FIL is still able to get around and
although he needs assistance in the bathroom, he lets us know when he needs to go. He voluntarily gave
up driving about 7-8 years ago-just quit driving. He still asks if he has a car though-he doesn't want to drive it,
just wants to know if he has one. He also forgot that he smoked.

We were concerned that he might start wandering when we moved them trying to get back home,
but he very clearly told us that he had lived here for a looooooong time and that everything here was his.
He even tells us when we need to turn off the highway so that we can get him home. We drive past his old turnoff and he
never mentions it (we've been lucky).

I think our hardest adjustment has been getting MIL to understand that FIL is not doing the things he does to make her
mad or to upset her. I have found alot of useful information about AD and communicating that I have printed out for
her that I think has helped her to understand things alot better.

Also, my DH and I are dealing with sibs that don't/won't help. Two are out of state, but sis is 10 minutes
from us and only calls when she wants something. We took care of POA and DPOA a few years ago and
really upset them when I was named as the one in charge and not them. My MIL told all of them that she
trusts me more than she trusts any of them and she wasn't changing anything so keep quiet or she was
disowning them. Now that she has been dx and we have moved them in with us, I am really glad that we
took care of this some time ago.

We live in a small town and I can't get out too much on my own, so I am finding these forums very helpful
and informative along with the fact that I can come here to vent when I need to and not feel judged
for feeling the way I do.

Hi Sherri! I saw you had signed up and was hoping you'd post an introduction, so thanks for doing that. I want to welcome you to the forum, and hope you find it as or more valuable than any other forum you have visited. We try to help one another as much as possible here, and pride ourselves on being as open as possible so vent away. I just wanted to tell you that you and your husband are great people for taking on this responsibility, and I only wish MIL anf FIL's other children would help out. Feel free to contact me anytime with any questions. Welcome again!

Sherri, I'm so glad you found us. The problems with your sibs is not uncommon. It always seems that there is just one person who steps up to the plate. I hope you will continue to share with us and let us walk with you through this.

Welcome, Sherri. I look forward to your posts!
Carol

Welcome to our Home, Sherri. We're here when you have any questions or just want to vent.

Welcome Sherri. Sounds like you have you hands full. Please know that we "get it" when it comes to AD and all the issues that come with it. This is a very friendly group and we welcome you into the fold. Looking forward to getting to know you better. We are glad you are here:)

Hi and welcome to the forum! Looking forward to reading your posts!

Welcome Sherri,

Glad you found us, but sorry you have to be here. These are great people, you will learn a lot and be very encouraged. You are amazing to take care of both inlaws, good for you.

~Kelly~

Sherri,
Welcome friend! You have just heard from some of the wonderful people on this forum, and there are many many more.

Go through some of the older posts, and you will see that not only do we have really big shoulders for you (as you will for us) but we can be pretty funny too. See the "dirt" posts when you have a chance. It will show you how crazy this group really is and how we try to add some humor to the situation we all are or have been in.

Come and vent to us any time night or day. Some of us crazy members stay up late into the night. So most times you'll get some company even into the early morning hours.

And if you ever have a problem with this forum, our administrator Aitan takes care of it pronto. And Carol and Lori, our monitors, are also there to help. They try to make sure no "snakes" invade our privacy.

You will not only learn, you will help us with your advice and suggestions. And we always look forward to that.

And just a little suggestion about "sis" . I used to have the same problem with my brother and sister in law. Called everyday, came over once a week to visit, but didn't really offer to watch my Mom for me. I finally figured out that how the heck was he suppose to know my husband and I wanted to go out unless I asked. So now I ask, and now he comes. Sounds simple, and maybe you've already tried that, but unless we get out of the habit a little at a time on not wanting to ask or bother people, it will be so much harder to get through this. So if you haven't yet asked her, ask, make your plans, and get the heck out of that house with your husband a little.

Let us know when you need us, and even if you don't, we're open for just about anything. Take care and welcome again.

Jackie

I'm PatB. DH and I are both 57, he's had a diagnosis for almost 2 yrs; he's had neuropsychiatric testing, and all the scans, bloodwork, etc., and seen neurologists.

Nope, didn't see it coming.
Yep, hindsight showed it had been there for a while.
And yes, he's progressed.

I have been dealing with those wonderful issues that come from living with someone who doesn't look sick or very old, doesn't see the deficits others do, still has driver' license, credit cards and the ability to make decisions and follow thru on them, although with less and less "common sense".

I'll start a thread with my current issue.

PatB

Sorry,
Didn't mean to post my intro as a reply!
PatB

Hi Pat, sorry to hear about your husbands diagnosis, but looking forward to reading your posts. Welcome to the fam

Welcome, Pat. I hope you are able to find lots of
support here. If you have a particular issue or question,
try the "General Discussion" category for posting.
That seems to be the most active one. There are a
number of members who are in the same boat as
you, many of them much further along. Please
don't be shy to jump into the conversation(s)!
Carol

Welcome Pat,

I'm so, so sorry about your husband, how very sad to have him be diagnosed so very young. You must be somewhat in shock still. Do you have a good support system? Is your husband still working? The people on this board are wonderful and will be a great help to you.

Welcome aboard,

~Kelly~

Hi Pat! Welcome to the board!

Kat