I heard you call me “sweetie”, but then you tell the doctor I am hearing voices, things that are never said. I forget to eat or is it I have lost my drive to eat, after all, I have been battling this monster for 7 years. I look at myself in the mirror and I see a stranger staring back. My hair has turned to salt and pepper gray and I am only 45 years old. I see this disease has taken my persona from me as I no longer remember the person that I use to be. I live from moment to moment struggling to survive each day to enjoy the future memories I will give to my son. I still question myself, “do I really have this horrible disease?” When I look into my eyes I can see the blankness that fills the void of what use to be. Sometimes, I have to have help to eat my meals. I seem to choke more frequently than before. I now put tomorrow's clothes on right after my shower, that way I can go to sleep and wake up ready for the day. My mind tires easily as I struggle to write my thoughts and my feelings as yesterday is gone and the words no longer just flow to my hands. Once again, I follow you hearing words that are never spoken.

Tracy

Tracy,
You may not remember things like you once did, but I can tell you that I will not forget all the insight you gave me on how Bill was feeling and all the help you gave me during the time I cared for him.
Thank you for everything.

Tracy, we all love you dearly and thank you so much for your openness and honesty. You are so valuable.

I, too, find your words encouraging me to understand those that I care for. You have given all of us insight to what this disease robs from our LO's.

Keep fighting for those moments for your son and husband and family and friends. God give you the courage to face what is yet to come and may we be of some comfort to you.